Signs of potential dating violence

By the time many people notice the obvious red flags, they're already attached to an abuser, which makes it much harder for them to leave the relationship.

More useful than a list of obvious red flags are guidelines based onof a potentially abusive relationship, signs that are visible before an attachment bond is formed.

At the start of the relationship, an abuser will equate jealously with love.

The abuser will question the victim about who the victim talks to, accuse the victim of flirting, or become jealous of time spent with others.

Schools need to teach about emotions such as jealousy so that girls when they are dating, instead of being flattered by bringing out jealousy in a boyfriend will recognize the insecurity that this emotion may represent.

Schools need to teach about thought patterns that are unhealthy and about how extremist notions and behaviors can be controlled through self-awareness and training to catch the unhealthy self-talk.

If you are in Midcoast Maine in Sagadahoc, Lincoln, Knox and Waldo counties, New Hope for Women is here to help by calling our toll-free number at 1-800-522-3304, visiting our ‘Contact’ page, or stopping by any of our Midcoast offices.

If you are not from the Midcoast Maine area, here are some resources that may be of help to you: the Maine Coalition to End Domestic Violence at 1-866-83-4HELP or via the web at the National Domestic Violence Hotline, 1-800-799-7233 or via the web at

“Small controlling behaviors might not seem like a big deal at the time, but they can escalate and eventually put someone at risk,” added Pinero.Even when their friends warned them to it break off, they already felt powerless to take action.But what if way back in school, they had learned the signs of what to watch out for, signs that could lead to serious problems and even violence later.As this behavior progresses the situation will worsen, and the abuser may assume all control of finances or prevent the victim from coming and going freely.A victim often has known or dated the abuser for a brief period of time before getting engaged or living together.